Saturday, June 27, 2015

What Do We Do When Nobody Can Cure Us?

Hi, everyone. I’m facing a question I’m sure many others in chronic pain have grappled with—why are my prayers for healing never answered? Why can’t anyone cure me? I recently returned from my visit to a prestigious clinic. My doctor was great, but I gathered little new information and received the same diagnosis as always (Chronic Migraine Syndrome), as well as the news that I will probably never be cured. Hearing this from one of the best headache doctors in the nation hurt—part of me was still hoping for a cure.

But even now, even when I am feeling disappointed in the medical system and frustrated because of the role my migraines are playing in some major life decisions I am trying to make, I'm not sorry that I was born with chronic pain—I know I would not be the same person without it. Having migraines has given me empathy for others in constant pain and has allowed me to help others in my situation in small ways, such as by encouraging the teachers of diversity classes at my college to incorporate a discussion of chronic pain into the curriculum or by giving advice to people who have recently developed chronic pain.

 I would like to share a quote that sums up my sentiment. The quote is from Battle for Grace, a memoir about how chronic pain derailed Cynthia Toussaint's dreams to become a dancer. Toussaint says that “if I could have chosen to live pain-free, I would have grabbed the option by the throat. But I would have been lesser for it. By a long shot" (277). This quote, while also mentioning that pain can make someone a better person, caused me to reflect on my own situation. If I could somehow choose to live the rest of my life without chronic pain, I, like Cynthia, would choose to do so in an instant, but if I had the opportunity to somehow erase my chronic pain so that I had not had to live so many years in pain, I would never take it. Erasing my pain would also mean I would lose the appreciation, the strength, the courage, and the empathy I have gained from coping with my pain.


 The point I’m trying to reach here is that maybe there is a reason that my prayers for and hopes of a pain free life, like those of so many others in chronic pain, remain unanswered. Maybe our lives in pain will continue to teach us and help us grow. Does this erase our pain? Of course not. I am feeling angry, frustrated, and more than a little lost right now. I am tired of watching my physical pain cause others, particularly my parents, all kinds of anguish and knowing I can do nothing about it. I am tired of having to make sacrifices because of my health. I am tired of pain, and I know many other chronic pain patients are in a similar position. Yet, I am determined to find whatever good I can in my struggles. One of my favorite professors once said there are two paths to responding to negative experiences—one path is to let the negative experience consume you, and the other path is to do your best to “turn negative experience into positive energy” and use it to make the world a better place. So, if you are in chronic pain, or if you are struggling with something else right now, I would like to remind you—you can and will grow from this experience. It’s never easy, and it often hurts, but it’s quite possible. At least for me, remembering this makes everything just a little easier to bear.  

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