Short Synthesis Essay About my Semester!

My Dear Fellow Chronics and Allies,

Hello! The first stage of my project is complete. I would like to thank Dr. Woodard for being such a compassionate, patient, and helpful faculty adviser. His help has meant a lot to me. I would also like to thank Dr. Stewart, who will be advising the second phase of my project, in advance for agreeing to help me.

I have finished the short paper I was writing to complete this part of my independent study. In the essay, I discuss some of the theories about why reading and writing literature may serve as effective coping mechanisms for those with chronic pain. I also discuss some of the insights I have gained by writing and revising the five poems I wrote for and published on this blog. Feel free to read it!

Also, even though this phase of the project is done, I will probably still post on this blog, so feel free to check it out any time! I will also most likely be publishing my final paper when I complete the last credit of this course (probably in the fall).

My essay is copied and pasted below (I tried embedding it, but this resulted in some very strange formatting, so I will not be able to embed it as a word document). Please click on the "read more" link to see the entire essay.

Essay:

Literature: A Healing Tool

For years, doctors assured me I would grow out of the pain disorder I have struggled with my entire life. This disorder, Chronic Migraine Syndrome, encompasses a wide range of migraine experiences, but, for me, it means I have a headache or migraine all of the time. Last year, I realized that the doctors had stopped assuring me that I would outgrow my pain. I did not know how to react to the possibility of lifelong pain, so I realized I needed a way to more fully process my emotions about my chronic pain condition. Many others face a similar problem. While the type and severity of pain varies, around 100 million Americans suffer from chronic pain, more than the amount of people who have diabetes, heart disease, strokes, and cancer combined  (“AAPM”). After conducting research, managing a chronic pain blog, reading pain narratives, and writing to reflect on my own experiences, I have developed a fuller understanding of the ways in which writing and reading literature can help chronic pain patients learn from and cope with the physical and emotional pain that chronic pain conditions often entail.

Many studies have shown that writing can help people cope with pain. For instance, in their journal article "The Connection Between Art, Healing, and Public Health: A Review of Current Literature," medical doctor Jeremy Nobel and scholar Heather Stuckey found that, in a study of ninety-two Fibromyalgia patients, the “psychological well-being, pain, and fatigue” of patients significantly improved in patients who began writing expressively, as opposed to those who did not (260). Other studies have found a link between health and writing as well.  For example, Tara Pope, a journalist for the New York Times website, explained that, by writing and revising our own personal stories, we can “change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in the way of better health” (Pope).  In other words, writing allows the individual a way to reflect on his or her life, possibly helping him or her view the situation in a different, more positive light, strengthening a his or her ability to cope with chronic pain.

While physical pain certainly makes life more difficult, people in chronic pain often experience emotional pain, as well, which explains why writing can help people cope with chronic pain. For instance, one study found that fifty percent of people in chronic pain have or have had “serious thoughts of committing suicide due to their pain disorder” (Cheatle S44). These dangerous thoughts may result from dealing with pain on a daily basis, losing the ability to participate in certain activities, feeling guilty about their condition, or from many other reasons. In fact, some researchers have found a link between physical and emotional pain. For example, Beth Darnall, a pain psychologist at Stanford University, stated that “the areas of our brain that are associated with sensory perception...share...areas of our brain that are involved in the processing of emotions” (qtd. in Radcliffe). This means that physical pain often begets emotional pain, and vice versa. Hence, treating only physical pain may not suffice, which may explain why reflective writing, which treats emotional pain, has helped some chronic pain patients cope with both physical and mental pain. This holistic healing approach also helps patients gain important insights about their pain through writing, as evidenced by my own experiences this semester.

This semester, I have found that writing about my chronic pain condition has helped me view my own pain in a less serious light. One day, I decided to simply describe my migraines, personifying it as a cruel jellyfish in the poem “That Old Jellyfish.” While I have often secretly thought of my migraines as caused by a jellyfish who lives on top of my brain, writing about it forced me to include specific details about the “jellyfish,” helping me more easily visualize it in the future. At first, this may not seem useful. Yet, I believe this poem helped me better cope with my chronic migraines. I cannot see or hear my migraines, and no doctor has ever reached a definite conclusion about what causes them. Describing my migraines as a jellyfish helped me give a name and an image to my migraines, making it seem less invulnerable, and even a bit humorous.  While this visualization of my migraines does not eradicate my pain, it does help me laugh at it, helping me face my pain with a better sense of humor.

Similarly, I found writing “Happiness,” a different poem for my blog, beneficial as well, as it helped me focus on the positive aspects of my life. I wrote “Happiness in response to a question I posed to myself after reading a passage of All in my Head, one of the memoires I read as part of this project. Paula Kamen wrote this memoire about her struggle to find a cure for a terrible migraine that has lasted for decades. In this memoire, she wrote that “one can be both happy and in pain” (Kamen 278).  This led me to ask myself—“What makes me happy, even when in pain?” Of course, I recognize that, sometimes, physical pain grows so intense that almost no one could feel happy while enduring it. Yet, I believe that, during the less painful days, I can find much to appreciate. Writing “Happiness” helped me to better do this because it forced me to articulate some of the things I love in this world, such as watching robins, playing the piano, and visiting my parents. This focus does not erase my pain, but it does help me better appreciate the positive aspects of my life.

As with “Happiness,” writing “Lessons”  helped me view my pain in a slightly different light, helping me to more fully realize that dealing with chronic pain has made me stronger. Before writing “Lessons,” I asked myself: “Is there anything good that comes from my chronic pain?”  In the poem, I wrote that “my heart glows with more strength...than I know” (“Lessons,” Alsaker 1). This line surprised me. I often do not feel very strong, especially when I cannot do normal activities because of my pain, or when it takes me an extra half an hour to get out of bed in the morning because of my migraines. Yet, writing my poem and thinking about what my migraines have taught me forced me to think about this concept more deeply than I previously had. This led me to realize that I often have more strength and endurance than I feel like I do. This self-knowledge makes me feel more optimistic about my ability to deal with any future complications my condition may present.

My writing over the course of this semester has taught me the value of, not only writing to gain insight, but also revising this writing. For instance, when I began writing “Behind the Mask,” I decided to write about how I do not wear makeup. (Wearing makeup exacerbates my migraines.) My inability to wear makeup represents a relatively small consequence of my chronic pain, and as I started to revise my poem, I realized that I wanted to make a deeper conclusion about my inability to wear makeup. Therefore, I decided to turn my poem into a comparison and contrast poem, writing things such as “Other girls paint their mouths with glittering shades of rose/ Instead of painting my mouth...I pull the corners up, resembling a smile” (“Behind,” Alsaker 1). This new version interested me more than the previous one, as it addressed the fact that I often hide my pain by acting more cheerful than I feel. I already knew that I tended to do this, of course, but I did not fully comprehend how often I did this until I started writing about it.

I continued to revise my poem until I produced the draft currently published on my blog, producing even more important insights in the process. In the current draft, I do not mention makeup at all. Revising my poem several times forced me to think about the topic from a slightly different angle each time. Eventually, this helped me realize that I feel paradoxical emotions—I want people to both treat me like anyone else and to acknowledge my struggles. This realization proves valuable, as I cannot improve my outlook about and skills for coping with my migraines until I more fully understand how I currently feel. Now that writing this poem has helped me understand my feelings about how I want others to view me, I can try to decide which of these two conflicting desires I want more. Since I only reached these conclusions after producing several drafts of my poem, I believe that revising a piece of writing several times increases the chance that the writer will gain important self-knowledge from the piece.

The last poem I wrote for this project, “Bean Bag Toss,” helped me to understand how I felt about a specific memory and why that memory held significance for me. I have frequently thought of a particular day last summer, during which I tried to play bean bag toss while suffering from a severe migraine. I could not articulate why the memory mattered to me. Even when I started to write about this memory, I could not fully understand the significance of it. Upon revising my poem, however, I realized that my attempt to pick up a bean bag I had dropped, as well as the help I received from my dad, serves as a metaphor for my life. I rarely ask for help because of migraine related complications, but sometimes I need it. Realizing this about myself helps me understand my own stubbornness, which may lead me to consider asking for help more often in the future. Also, the poem helped me feel more grateful for the help I do receive. Together, this poem and the other poems I have written for this project show that writing and revising literature forces writers to view their struggles in a different light, helping them to better understand, and, therefore, to better cope with, their pain.

Yet, chronic pain sufferers can gain important knowledge by reading literature, as well as by writing it. As part of my project, I created an online survey, which I sent to chronic pain patients and pain management clinics, asking patients how, if at all, literature affects their ability to cope with their pain. Eighty-eight percent of respondents replied that, at least part of the time, they feel less isolated or alone when they read about other people’s experiences with pain (Alsaker, “Chronic”). One respondent even said: “It helps when you know you’re not alone ….when dealing with pain.” Indeed, literature has the power to help people realize that others have dealt with similar circumstances, making their particular condition seem less isolating. For instance, when I read All in my Head and learned about Paula Kamen’s struggle to find an appropriate treatment for her migraines, I felt excited to know that others have also struggled to find the right treatment. Although people may logically know that others deal with similar problems, reading about it can make it seem more real. Additionally,  patients can learn by reading about the insight the authors have gained through writing.

Of course, writing and reading do not constitute the only way a chronic pain patient can deal with his or her pain. Yet, as my personal experiences and research have shown, literature can provide a powerful option for doing so. Through writing and revising pieces about their pain, patients may gain valuable insights about how to deal with it. Linda Martinson, the author of several poems I read over the course of this semester, has stated, “I urge those of you who suffer intractable pain to write about how you feel....Writing is a great way to...deal with emotional aspects of living with constant pain.” (Martinson). I would like to echo this statement, as well as to add that reading previously published literature can also have a positive impact on a patient’s life by helping him or her feel less isolated by his or her condition. Together, reading and writing literature can help those who struggle with chronic pain by leading them to a healthier outlook about their chronic pain.

Works Cited

“AAPM Facts and Figures on Chronic Pain." American Academy of Pain Medicine. The  American Academy of Pain Medicine, n.d. Web. 13 Mar. 2015.

Alsaker, Leah. “Beanbag Toss.” Brookings, 2015: 1. Print.

Alsaker, Leah. “Behind the Mask.” Brookings, 2015: 1. Print.

Alsaker, Leah. "Chronic Pain and Literature." Survey. Winter 2015.

Alsaker, Leah. “Happiness.” Brookings, 2015: 1. Print.

Alsaker, Leah. “Lessons.” Brookings, 2015: 1. Print.

Alsaker, Leah. “That Old Jellyfish.” Brookings, 2015: 1. Print.

Cheatle, Martin D. "Depression, Chronic Pain, and Suicide by Overdose: On the Edge." Pain Medicine 12 (2011): S43-48. EBSCO Host. Web. 12 Apr. 2015.

Kamen, Paula. All in My Head: An Epic Quest to Cure an Unrelenting, Totally Unreasonable, and Only Slightly Enlightening Headache. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Lifelong, 2005. Print.

Martinson, Linda. "Write Your Pain, Tame Your Pain: The Healing Benefits of Writing." Poems of Consolation. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Apr. 2015.

 Pope, Tara P. "Writing Your Way to Happiness." The New York Times Blog. The New York Times Company, 19 Jan. 2015. Web. 06 Apr. 2015.

Radcliffe, Shawn. "For Pain Patients, the Physical and Emotional Are Intertwined." Healthline RSS News. Healthline Networks, Inc., 28 July 2014. Web. 06 Apr. 2015.

 Stuckey, Heather L., and Jeremy Nobel. "The Connection Between Art, Healing, and Public Health: A Review of Current Literature." American Journal of Public Health 100.2 (2010): 254-63. EBSCO Host. Web. 6 Apr. 2015.